Engkau makin lama makin tua, bukan makin muda .. Ish~~

When everyone rapidly move, I still need the walker to someplace ..

Tiap kali bila hati rasa tak tenang, taka man, dikatakan zikir dan istighfar itu boleh mengurangkan kegusaran. Ya, berkesan ‘sedikit’ pada umat yang kurang dan tipis imannya ini (huu~) . haritu, di kitchen buat production , aku rasakan Hj. Anep yang aku rasakan sangat penyabar. Separuh ‘minestrone soup’ yang dibuat pagi tu tumpah akibat tayar troli GM patah tiba- tiba. Separuh sahajayang dapat diselamatkan. Hj. Anep tenang sahaja menghadapi situasi itu. Dan aku pun secara tak langsung tidak melatah pada perkara yang berlaku. Mungkin sebab ‘aura’ penyabar Hj. Anep mempengaruhi diri aku, hmm .. “semua yang berlaku ni dugaan Allah pada kita”, Hj. Anep kabor gitu ke aku .. Waa, ntah ape feeling rase kat dalam hati ni mase dia ckp cmtu pon aku xpasti, but one thng 4sure, Im totally respect him 4 his patient .. huii …

Kata- kata Hj. Anep seolah disokong dengan perjalanan balik naik bas balik dari kerja malam tu. Aku lihat seorang ibu dan anak yang sangat- sangat sederhana pemakaian dan penampilan mereka. Si ibu berjalan terhinjut- hinjut manakala si anak meminpin ibu sambil bergurau- gurau manja dengan ibunya. Nyata nampak bahagia walau dalam keadaan tak berapa berharta…

Rasanaya ramai tahu kebenaran akan lebih pentingnya kebahagiaan dari harta benda duniawi. Tapi sejauh mana perkara itu benar- benar difahami dan didalami serta diaplikasi kehidupan manusia sehari- hari? Aku juga tidak terlepas dari fenomena dalam sedar tapi buat- buat tak sedar (ok, mula membebel mak nenek)

Dilontarkan pemikiran yang tak jauh dari kotak ini, keredhaan, kesyukuran pada apa yang ada/ diberi, boleh membina hidup yang lebih tenang. Jika difikirkan sehari- hari wang tak pernah cukup, yakinlah ada lagi hamba- hamba Allah yang jauh lebih melarat dari kita. Jika kita merungut- rungut mahukan baju, dress, handbag, makeup @ purse baru, fikirkan mereka- mereka yang terpaksa menunggu baju, beg derma kerana tiada kemampuan membelinya walau yg buakn ori ...

Istighfarlah sebanyak mungkin akibat segala ketidaksyukuran , kekufuran yang telah dilakukan. Tapi tidak pula bermaksud terus rasa selesa dengan apa yang ada dan tidak mahu berusaha lagi, kan? Hooo ..

Diharapkan untuk penambahan keimanan dan kesabaran dalam jiwa ini supaya ia makin tenang, aminn~~~ (.^,^.)

Al Fatihah untuk arwah Pak Teh yang menghembuskan nafas terakhir pada 18hb Januari 2011 bersamaan hari Selasa kelmarin. Semoga rohnya dicucuri Allah dan dipermudahkan segala urusan untuk Pak Teh di sana, InsyaAllah~

I just miss him

I miss her too

And the feeling

Sometimes like killing me somehow

I willingly

To change anything

Anything I have

Just once

To meet them back

Allah

I know

YOU having a nice

And good care

To my both 'kesayangan'

But if

Only if

YOU grant my pray ..

Because 'this'

Has really makes me hurt deep inside

Want to be in their hug

Want them to kiss me

Want to grab their hands, badly

Want them to listen to me

So that i knew

Im telling to the one

Who care me the most

Meanwhile, I can feel it back

Like the old days

They delivering their loves

To their most spoil granddaughter

Allah, I just miss them so badly

Al Fatihah to my late grandparents - Hj Ismail & Hjh Haminsah

As the eldest, & have been grown up in such a surroundings, I always been taught to be the best. Ahaa.. Kelakar bukan bunyinya? Highly expectations, having a good result in every exams, be nice and polite 24/7 and etc etc ... (I think all the eldest especially from the malays family will experience this)

And there is always been said, that life is like 'roda'. Once you were on top of it, but can be one day you can be on the bottom. Same like norm peoples, I do be in the bottom. I do have been on the top, and not forget to be in the middle of it.

The conflicts here is , when you were sooo oh tired for 'trying' be the best. So you (or I in this case) have done so much wrongdoings which has make urself a destruct of own good future, make the one who love us and has sacrifice much for ourself frust on ourself. Ok, serve ourself -_-"

The add up of numbers in age slowly change the set of our mind. When the world rapidly move when we still kidding and playing around about life, take it for granted and less aprreciation to HIM of all the love, bless and this living .. And the most pathetic part is, when everything is seems so late for you. You crawling, when everyone run to get to the destination.

Everything seem so crumble & mixing up, until you dint even know how to plan it very well. You face it like lunatics, you do so much stupidity like you forgot that we still have HIM for us to cry, to listen all the bads ..

Hoi, strenghten heart with the zikr.. Remember !!

Erm, a change for being much better in life can be kind of hard actually. Important is, try to letting all the egos in ourself, and redha. Dont be hypocrite, because it will just make the change is just temporary for you. Honesty is the best deed ;)

Put self in peaceness, banyakkan sabar (most important !!), and discuss more about the life's path with the one who really care for us.. Just do, before its getin more late ..


p/s: Happy eid adha to all :)

Quick updates, malu type/ update blog di cyber cafe, huu~

1) Baru perasan, takde entry hari raye, hoh apekah? Tak patut tak patut.. Baiklah, Raya ku memang seronot seperti bese, ader touching sket2. Kerinduan tak terbendung pada sepupu sepapat, ibu ayah atu nenek sedara, dan paling dirindui arwah atok & arwah uwan.. Ergh, sile control emosi Syakierah oii.. **sambil sedut2 mukus dalam idong, yecks~~ hohoo

2) Erm, macam tension lately.. Ahh, sket2 tension ko kan, tahpape.. It happens because u think about it too much. Makanya, I really need to control and maybe need to change some here and that of my att response to the problems I have .. Weceh2, cam sungguh positif lak kan bunyi nyer, poyos di situ ..

3) Rindu, tapi tak spesifik rindu tu.. Rindu pada sangat ramai orang sekarang.. Nak jumpa mereka, nak jumpe mereka, isk~ :'(

4) Suluhi laluanku agar aku sentiasa boleh melihat dan nampak arah tujuanku.. Andai gelap, terangi mata ini supaya masih boleh merangkak mungkin untuk pastikan aku masih boleh terus bergerak ke hadapan.. Kuatkan hati, penuhi minda dan basahi hati hati dengan zikir padaMu..

5) Mari tempuhi ujian2 yang takkan pernah lekang dari hidup seorang pelajar, hmm2~~~

Papai2~~